I’m the first person to admit. I am a misandrist. The misandry is so deep seeded, so engrained in my psyche that I flinch in my sleep if a man is in the room.
I have been a victim of misogyny, trans-misogyny, I have had some of the most important things in my life ripped from me because of prejudice and discrimination against me. I have been a sexual abuse and assault victim. I feel very uncomfortable around most men.
However, the “M&M” argument just doesn’t hold up under logical scrutiny.
Do I believe in the fact that we all need to speak up to change the even more deep seeded misogyny in our culture? Yes. Do I believe that we all are so used to misogynist culture that unless something like the Elliot Rodger murders happen that many of us just take it as a norm? Yes.
Do I believe all men are responsible, by virtue of some original sin, by the virtue of having a penis and identifying as male? NO.
And that’s a HELL NO.
The M&M argument states this:
Imagine a bowl of M&Ms. 10% of them are poisoned. Go ahead. Eat a handful. Not all M&Ms are poison.
Men are the M&Ms.
First of all, I refuse to believe that I can pick up that many men and date them, even if I was inclined to date men.
Second, many men are actually part of the solution. There are several men, I now consider friends, who have completely blown me out of the water with the understanding of what women go through, the insidious misogynistic nature of this culture, the covertness of the inequality, they don’t believe in the “friend zone” (and I still don;t understand why a “friend zone” is bad, in some ways, I’d prefer to be a “friend” than a lover to many people, if given a choice to only pick one – good friends are difficult to find, and even harder to keep long term sometimes), and think relationships are by mutual consent.
But the biggest reason of all is it relies upon blaming a superset.
So really what we’re saying is the human race is ruined by a few assholes.
Wait… maybe the analogy is right.